Don't Use These Words | Cleaning Up Discussions | Lent /Easter Prep
Words to avoid during disagreements :
| Word/Phrase | Why it’s Dangerous | Better Alternative |
| "Always" / "Never" | These are rarely factually true and make the person feel like a lost cause. | "In this specific instance..." |
| "But" | It effectively erases everything you said before it (e.g., "I love you, but..."). | Use "And" or "At the same time..." |
| "Anyway" | A dismissive way to shut down the other person's feelings mid-sentence. | "I hear you. Let’s look at..." |
| "Calm down" | This almost always has the opposite effect. It minimizes their emotions. | "I can see you're upset. I want to listen." |
| "Divorce" / "Over" | Using the "nuclear option" during a minor spat destroys trust and security. | Keep the focus on the current issue. |
In a professional setting avoid using:
"It's not Fair": Using the phrase "It’s not fair" can sound juvenile in a business context. Work isn't always balanced; focus on impact or resources instead.
"Actually": This often comes across as condescending or covering a mistake. This adverb creates an image of struggling over who is "more right."
"Whatever": This is a shutdown. It signals that you’ve checked out and no longer interested in a conversation.
"Fault": Pointing fingers creates a feeling of aggression. Focus on the cause of the error rather than the person who caused it.
"Obviously": If it were obvious, you probably wouldn't be arguing.
