Tracing Triggers Through Your History | Lent Prep | Easter Prep |
Today, trace your triggers so you can work on modifying your behaviour. This research may take you more than one day. Write down the triggers you know and work on those first moving yourself from the reaction you have today to a healthier reaction for your relationship.
Here is how you can begin connecting the dots and find out the developmental age of the Trigger.
The Age Check
When you are emotionally triggered, you will feel like a specific version of yourself or may feel a trauma attached to a memory.
The Technique: The next time you feel that "hot" or "trapped" feeling during a family argument, close your eyes for a second and ask: "What am I remembering?"
The Connection: If you suddenly feel like you can’t get a word in edgewise, look for a memory where you were unable to express yourself and then the life pattern which may have developed from that emotional reaction from your past history.
Identify your Adaptive Behaviors
In childhood, we develop strategies to stay safe. As adults, these strategies become our triggers.
Your trigger may have something to do with someone being slightly unhappy with you.
Your trigger may have to do with being corrected or critiqued.
If your trigger may have something to do with being controlled or unnecessary gate keeping.
Look for Emotional Echoes
Sometimes it’s not a single trauma but traumas:
Review the Family Roles
Often, triggers are tied to the role you were assigned in the family system.
Digging into childhood trauma can be emotional. If you find that these memories bring up intense distress, it’s a sign that this work might be best done with a therapist.
