Extended Family Visits | Setting Boundaries and Limits | Lent Prep | Easter Prep |
A Discussion over Extended Family
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If your partner feels overwhelmed by family visits, they might see it as an intrusion while you may see it as support or loyalty.
In the Conversation, instead of stating, "My family is coming over on Sunday," Explain why it is important to see your family every week and Identify what type of visit and the length of the visits.
Sit down together and categorize what is important about a visit from your parents. By setting the ground rules, you will prevent arguments from starting on this topic.
| Category | Definition | Example |
| Non-Negotiables | Visits that are part of the norm of having family in the area. | Sunday visit after church or for brunch. |
| Flexible Habits | Things you enjoy but can compromise on. | Casual weekend drop-ins from family for house maintenance or to go shopping. |
| New Traditions | New Get Together with spouse. | Dedicating one weekend a month as a no family weekend where you do something specific with your spouse. |
The "Consultation" vs. "Permission" Distinction
For example, in many Hispanic households, "including family in decisions" is a sign of respect. To someone from a more individualistic background, this can feel like a loss of autonomy.
Set a boundary for the two of you first: Agree that the final decision always stays between you and your partner.
Frame the family’s role: Explain that you are seeking wisdom. This helps your partner feel like the relationship is still the primary "team."
Use the "Guest vs. Host" Mentality
If your partner wasn't raised with frequent family gatherings, they may feel like they a host to the family instead of part of the family.
Tips:
- Encourage your partner to take breaks from the family if the visit is longer than a few hours.
- Create a routine for the visits so that the family knows when your spouse has reached their social limit and needs to step back.
- While your partner learns to embrace the chaos of Hispanic communication, it’s important to respect their family and communicate with their family.